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May 1956

The Splendid Source

Dear Playboy

The Shooting of Judge Price


The Splendid Source

It was the one Uncle Lyman told in the summer house that did it. Talbert was just coming up the path when he heard the punch line: "'My God!' cried the actress, 'I thought you said sarsaparilla!'"


Dear Playboy

Address Playboy Magazine 11 E, Superior ST., Chicago 11, Illinois

The Shooting of Judge Price

Judge wade price was a distinctively handsome man in his leisurely fifties, a widower for nearly a decade, and for many more years than that he had been presiding judge of the country court. Everyone who had ever known Judge Price thought of him as being scrupulously honest, fair-minded to a fault, and, as he often said to himself, deferent to the honor of womanhood. It was doubtful if anybody could be found who had ever seen him fail to take off his hat when he spoke to a woman or young girl of any age.


The Liquid Apple

Apples have always given moralists a bad time. Other fruits, like the plum and the pomegranate, have been red, but the apple has always been blushing red.


To Victor Belongs the Spoils

849 performances is usually considered pretty healthy for a Broadway show. For a one-man Broadway show, it's more than healthy, it's historical. The one man who recently chalked up that fantastic figure, grossed over two million bucks in the bargain, and is now accumulating even more performances on national tour, is a melancholy Dane who was once employed in a funeral parlor: Victor Borge.


The Monster Show

"Is it sock?" the Big Man inquired nervously, flicking a tablet into his mouth.


How Now, Brown Cow?

Texas law and the men who make and keep it have always been unique. In witness to this fact is a legal opinion handed down by the Office of the Attorney General in Austin, Texas, a few years back. The opinion concerned the castration of a farmer's bull yearling by employees of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas after the bull had broken into the pasture of the Dairy Husbandry Department and serviced several cows. "The dairy hands lassoed him and castrated him. He was hot and mad and as a result was found dead in the pasture the next day." The farmer demanded and received $20.00 in payment for the death of the bull. When the College submitted this bill to the Comptroller of Public Accounts for payment, the comptroller asked the Office of the Attorney General for an opinion as to whether this was a proper charge to be paid from State funds. The opinion, slightly edited and abridged, follows:


The Pleasures of Portugal

Portugal – bless its heart – is the only country we know in Europe where wine is free with every meal at every restaurant, or at least included immovably in the table d'hote price. We've not confined our wine bibbing to meals only, of course: there's little else that will tone up the system as well or do more for the soul than an amber-hued white port, sipped of a sunny morning from the wicker depths of a chair on a cafe ter (continued on page 42)Portugal(continued from page 33) race. It heightens your joy in the wiggling walk of a sturdy varina fishwife, gaily costumed as she passes with a head-carried basket of glistening, fresh-caught octopus, or the green-water reflections of a fleet of slant-masted, high-prowed fragata fishing boats, bright-painted arabesques shimmering in the oily surge of a little harbor.


I'm Losing My Hair

"Darling," she whispered as she caressed me, "you're losing your hair."


Executive Suit

Latest word from the prognosticators of the good life in 198X is that we will all be engarbed in "air conditioned suits." This advance tip gives no indication of whether the compound miracle of tailor and engineer will depend on portable battery power or atomic energy (or perhaps we will just plug ourselves into any convenient outlet?). All of which tumbles us pell-mell into the battle of survival-with-propriety through the summer heat, and a stout brawl it's going to be.

April1956 June1956
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